Why You Keep Sabotaging Your Finances (And How to Stop)

By Molly Benjamin, Founder of Ladies Finance Club

Listen to the full podcast here.

Have you ever promised yourself you’d start saving, only to blow your budget on late-night online shopping? Or felt guilty about emotional spending but couldn’t seem to break the cycle? You’re not alone.

In this episode of Get Rich, I sat down with Catherine from Joyful Money, a financial planner turned money coach, to unpack why we self-sabotage with money, and how financial coaching and tools like the Urge Journal can help you change those habits for good.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage With Money?

Catherine explained that self-sabotage often comes from our past. The way we grew up around money shapes the money mindset we carry as adults. For some, it means spending to fill emotional gaps. For others, it’s a fear of even looking at their bank account.

She’s worked with clients who doom-scroll late at night and hit “buy now” out of boredom or stress, only to hide those purchases out of guilt. Others believe they’ll “never get ahead” financially, so they give up before they start.

The key to breaking this cycle? Money awareness, pausing long enough to recognise your patterns.

Practical Tools: The Urge Journal

One of Catherine’s go-to strategies for clients stuck in emotional spending is the Urge Journal. Instead of clicking “checkout,” you:

• Pause and write down the urge.
  
• Note the feelings driving it (boredom, stress, loneliness).
  
• Reflect on whether the purchase truly adds value to your life.
  

For one of her clients, using this exercise stopped her unnecessary spending completely.

Building Better Cash Flow Structures

Self-sabotage doesn’t just show up in shopping, it often creeps into how we manage (or don’t manage) our money. Many people live out of a single account, blurring bills, savings, and everyday spending.

Through financial planning and simple cash flow systems, Catherine helps clients create clarity. At minimum, she recommends two accounts: one for bills and one for everyday spending. Beyond that, tailor your accounts to what you truly value, whether that’s travel, health, or self-care.

The Deeper Connection: Human Design and Money Coaching

What sets Catherine apart is her integration of human design into financial coaching. By combining practical planning with insights into personality and energy patterns, she helps clients uncover why they behave the way they do with money.

This holistic approach has led to profound client transformations, from women finally feeling in control of their money to couples healing long-standing conflicts about finances.

Relationship Dynamics and Money

Money doesn’t exist in a vacuum - it’s deeply tied to relationship dynamics. Catherine shared how couples often clash because of their past money stories. One partner might want to grow wealth through investing, while the other clings to savings out of fear from past financial trauma.

Her advice? Have open conversations, schedule “money dates,” and focus on shared goals. Understanding each other’s money history can turn conflict into collaboration.

Self-sabotage with money isn’t about being “bad with money.” It’s about unconscious patterns that no longer serve you. With the right tools, from the Urge Journal to structured cash flow systems and guidance through financial coaching, you can build new habits, improve your money mindset, and create lasting financial freedom.

Because when you stop sabotaging your finances, you don’t just save more, you transform your relationship with money, yourself, and those around you.

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