Money Dilemma: I Feel Trapped, Can I Afford to Leave?

To: Molly

Subject: Money Dilemma

I’m contemplating leaving my husband of 15 yrs, we have been together for 22yrs, my name isn’t on our house deeds as I have always been self employed and he has always had a good income so hasn’t needed me to.

We own our own business now which we both work in, I’m trying to figure out where to start to try to figure if this is something I can do financially on my own as in buy a home in my name, we also have children together.

For reference I’m in my 40s I honestly feel trapped at the moment but know my happiness is suffering due to some partying habits he has.

Any advice is welcome I’m a little lost at the moment and this podcast has been inspiring so I do have hope just don’t know where to even begin.

Molly's Response:

Thank you so much for trusting us with something so personal. What you’re feeling makes complete sense and you’re not weak or “behind” for feeling lost right now. Many women in long-term relationships reach this moment and start asking, Can I actually do this on my own?

You’re also far from alone. In Australia, around 32% of relationships end in separation or divorce, and for women the most common age is 43.1, according to the ABS (2025).

One really important thing to know is this: your name not being on the house does not mean you have no entitlement, especially after 20 years together and with children involved. Australian family law looks at the whole picture, financial and non-financial contributions, the length of the relationship, future earning capacity, and care of children.

You don’t need to make any big decisions today. Right now, the goal is clarity, not action.

A few gentle first steps that can help:
💬 Speak to a family lawyer early. Even one initial conversation can help you understand your rights around the home, the business, and future support. All the family lawyers I work with offer a free first session, just DM me and I’ll connect you, and you can choose who feels right for you.

💰 Chat with a money coach, mortgage broker, or financial adviser. They can help you map out what life could look like on your own, your income, borrowing capacity, and whether buying a home solo is realistic. This isn’t about committing to leaving, just understanding your options.

📄 Start gathering information quietly. Bank balances, super, business details, debts, and household expenses. Having the numbers brings power and peace of mind.

❤️ Prioritise your wellbeing. Feeling trapped takes a huge toll. You’re allowed to want a life that feels safe, calm, and aligned for you and your children.

You don’t have to have all the answers right now. One small conversation can lead to the next, and clarity often brings confidence. You are not alone, and there are pathways forward, financially and emotionally.
We’re really glad you’re here. 💗