Getting Your Finances Organised Before You Separate: What You Need to Know

 

What do you actually need to sort out financially before you separate and when should you start?

This week on Get Rich, Molly sits down with mortgage broker, Stella Finance Group founder, and Ladies Finance Club ambassador Lisa Bridgett to break down everything Australian women need to know about getting their finances in order before, during, and after a separation. No jargon, no judgment, just clear, practical advice from someone who has not only helped countless women through this process, but has lived it herself.

Whether you've been putting off getting your finances sorted because you don't know where to start, you're not sure what you're actually entitled to, or you're worried about what life looks like on the other side, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why speaking to a mortgage broker before a lawyer could save you thousands
• What actually happens to the family home in a separation and whether you can really afford to keep it
• Why so many women leave superannuation on the table and why you absolutely shouldn't
• How interest rate rises affect your borrowing capacity as a single income household
• What a binding financial agreement is and why more couples should be having this conversation
• The financial red flags to watch for when things start to turn ugly
• Why having your own emergency fund in your own name is non-negotiable
• How to build your separation support team, from mortgage brokers to family lawyers to forensic accountants
• The one thing Lisa wishes more women knew before they signed anything

Perfect for: Australian women who are considering separation, going through one, or simply want to be financially prepared for whatever life throws at them. And if this isn't you right now, share it with a girlfriend who needs to hear it.

The biggest takeaway from this episode? Knowledge is power. The sooner you know your numbers, the more confidently you can fight for what you deserve. 🎧

 

CHAPTERS

00:00:00 – Introduction: Why separation finances matter
00:01:11 – Meet Lisa: Mortgage broker & LFC ambassador
00:02:36 – Lisa’s personal journey: Breast cancer & resilience
00:04:09 – Early signs & diagnosis experience
00:07:14 – Why financial prep for separation is critical
00:08:52 – Common financial mistakes in separation
00:10:36 – Emotional attachment vs financial reality of the family home
00:12:22 – Building a strong support team (lawyers, advisors, mediators)
00:14:30 – Why women separate: mental load & midlife pressures
00:15:58 – Amicable separations & asset division
00:16:55 – Superannuation: the overlooked asset
00:17:57 – Case study: when separation gets messy
00:18:58 – Binding Financial Agreements (prenups) explained
00:20:55 – Parenting plans: proactive agreements for raising children
00:22:33 – Interest rates & borrowing capacity in separation
00:25:12 – When to start financial planning for separation
00:25:56 – Lessons learned & advice for women starting the journey

 

LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

National Debt Helpline: https://ndh.org.au/
Relationships Australia - Parenting Plan Resources: https://www.relationships.org.au/share-the-care-parenting-plan-pdf/

📌 Key Takeaways
- Speak to a mortgage broker first before engaging lawyers to understand what’s financially realistic.
- Don’t overlook superannuation in settlements, it’s often undervalued but critical for long-term security.
- Consider a Binding Financial Agreement (prenup) to protect assets in relationships.
- Draft a Parenting Plan early to avoid conflict and ensure clarity in raising children.
- Build a support team: mortgage broker, financial advisor, family lawyer, mediator, and accountant.

 

CONNECT WITH LISA BRIDGETT

Website: www.stellarfinancegroup.com.au
Instagram: www.instagram.com/stellarfinancegroup
Facebook: www.facebook.com/stellarfinancegroup
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/stellarfinancegroup
Bookings link: www.stellarfinancegroup.com.au/meet

 

CONNECT WITH LADIES FINANCE CLUB

Buying a property? Need Financial Advice? Time to sort the Will? Let us help connect you with an awesome woman in finance! https://directory.ladiesfinanceclub.com/
Join our free Facebook group - Ladies Finance Club Money Chat
Website: https://www.ladiesfinanceclub.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ladiesfinanceclub/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ladies-finance-club/
Newsletter: https://www.ladiesfinanceclub.com/newsletter23

 

 

TAKEAWAYS

SOUND BITES

"Early detection saved my life; regular checks are crucial."
"Financial awareness is key before and during separation."
"Building a support team can make all the difference."

 

TRANSCRIPT

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome back to Get Rich, the podcast that helps you do just that. Get rich and stay rich. Now, I'm your host, Molly Benjamin, founder of Ladies Finance Club. And today we are diving into a topic that so many of you have been asking about separation because nobody walks down the aisle thinking about the exit, but whether it is you, your sister, your best friend, chances are this conversation is gonna hit home for someone in your life.

[00:00:26] And here's the thing, when relationship. Spread down. We go straight to the emotions, which is completely valid, but the financial side gets left in the dark and that is exactly where things can go very, very wrong. And we've all heard the stories where, you know, women who've dedicated their whole lives to being amazing mothers are then in a really poor financial situation.

[00:00:49] So I've brought someone in who knows the numbers inside and out, and has actually lived the experience herself. She's a mortgage broker, a ladies finance club ambassador and founder of Stellar Finance Group, and someone who built her business so well that it actually kept running when she recently went through one of the toughest years of her life last year, which she will talk more about on the podcast.

[00:01:11] So we're gonna be covering in this episode when to get your finances in order and what actually happens with the family home and the mistake she sees women making over and over again. And why Super matters more than most people realize and why just knowing your numbers before you sit down with a lawyer can save you serious time, money, and heartache.

[00:01:30] So this one is for anyone considering a separation or maybe going through one or their. Friend is going through one or they're just wanting to be financially prepped for whatever life throws at them. All right, let's get into it. And just a quick shout out, our LFC directory is now live. It features fantastic.

[00:01:48] LFC ambassadors like the amazing Lisa, who's gonna be on the podcast. So if you wanna check that out, head over to ladies finance club.com and you can find the link there to our LFC directory and connect with an amazing expert who can help you with any of your financial needs. All right,

[00:02:04] let's get into it.

[00:02:06] Lisa, welcome to the Get Rich podcast. It's so great to have you on.

[00:02:11] Thank you so much. So great to be here. So great to see you.

[00:02:15] Yeah. So just for context, everyone listening, I am breastfeeding while I asked the first few questions because La Molly had a little meltdown, so she'll be joining us, but it shouldn't affect the conversation.

[00:02:27] But Lisa, I know you've been on a bit of a journey, your. Self recently? Yes. Can you just fill us in and our listeners on what's been happening in the world of Lisa?

[00:02:36] Yeah, it's been a, an interesting chapter and one I couldn't anticipate that, uh, unfortunately I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May of last year.

[00:02:46] And yeah, just went through the, the whole experience of, of a diagnosis of breast cancer. I had a, a double mastectomy in, in late May, and then, uh, had chemotherapy from July till September, and. It took about eight months outta the business and, and thankfully I'd set up the business in a way that it could keep going without me needing to be there, which was, you know, I'm very grateful for.

[00:03:10] And, uh, now I'm back and the energy's back we're back and full swing. One of the beautiful things I think that I've discovered in coming back is this is where I'm meant to be. You know, there's, there was a real risk that I would come back to the business and be like, oh, yuck. No, no, not me. Yeah. And it absolutely was the opposite.

[00:03:30] I was just so excited to get back behind my desk and speak to clients and help again, and

[00:03:34] yeah,

[00:03:35] so that's been a very nice. You know, place to land. I think I'm gonna be coming at it from a, a different angle than I used to. Everything used to be about just hypers scheduling my day, whereas now it's gonna be a bit more of a, um, yeah, a lot more time and space for balance.

[00:03:51] Yeah. Well, I'm so glad you are feeling be and feeling well again.

[00:03:56] Yeah. Thank,

[00:03:57] thank you. Just out of interest for the listeners as well. What were your kind of early symptoms and signs and what if you're happy to share? How did you course discover that you had breast cancer? 'cause I think it's always, yeah.

[00:04:09] I know for my sister, when she was going through blood cancer, she had night sweats and the doctor told her for two years, she was just really stressed. She's had losing weight. She was feeling really tired. But what were some of those signs, those early kind of, I guess, red flags?

[00:04:25] Yeah. Looking back, I think my periods were starting to go all over the place, but it was very easy.

[00:04:31] I'm at the, you know, tender age of 48, so it was very easy just to go, it's perimenopause, it's menopause, you know, my hormones, of course, they're crazy. But then what started to lead me to explore it was that my breasts were really sore all the time, whereas before they used to be sore only in a, you know, certain amount of days before my period.

[00:04:50] So that started to be a bit of a. Oh, that's a bit weird. And it was actually my daughter who helped me diagnose it, if that can be said that way, because I was reading to them at night and I kept going like this, and I just kept rubbing and my daughter said, mom, why do you keep rubbing your breasts?

[00:05:07] You've been doing that a lot lately. And it was just, it become a habit that I hadn't even, you know, drawn my own attention to. Yeah. And I thought to myself, you know what? Yeah, they have been sore for a bit long, and then I went into my room and I had implants. Before.

[00:05:20] Yeah.

[00:05:20] And you know, so I was pressing quite hard and I found a lump.

[00:05:24] Oh, wow.

[00:05:24] Um, and thankfully it was above the implant and I could palpate and feel it. It felt like a very tiny. Pea-sized lump, I guess. And yeah, then just, you know, went through the, the process of being diagnosed super, super quickly.

[00:05:40] Oh my gosh. And had you been getting your regular checkups as well?

[00:05:45] Yeah, so I, um, I was never one to get mammograms, main reason being and personal choice.

[00:05:50] Definitely not, you know, advice or, or anything like that was because I had such dense. Breasts, every time I had an ultrasound over the years, we got to know all of my lumps. You know, it was not uncommon for me to have 15 lumps every single time I went. Right. So I just chose to go down the ultrasound route and, and I can actually say that even through my diagnosis, I never once had a mammogram.

[00:06:13] You know, we were able to, to get that full diagnosis from. Doing fine needle biopsies, core needle biopsies, and a range of different types of ultrasounds. And ultimately there's a really good facility, it's in North Sydney that you can do an MRI on your breasts and it comes at a cost.

[00:06:30] Yeah.

[00:06:30] But it is a very good tool for detecting as well.

[00:06:34] Well, thank you so much for sharing that. And it just like such an important reminder for women if you find really is you're not checking a breast. Often, and if you do find something, investigate it straight away if something doesn't feel right. Yeah. You have to be your own kind of investigator there and um, yeah, get it investigated as soon as possible.

[00:06:53] And I think you have to be persistent too, you know, because it is easy for a doctor to say, you're 48, it's just menopause, don't worry. Or let's go on HRT, you know? Yeah. So you do have to yeah. Be your own cheerleader.

[00:07:05] You absolutely do. Exactly as I said with Bri, like she just kept going. You just have a really stressful job and you do have to be your own cheerleader.

[00:07:14] Why is this topic of separating and making sure that you were financially prepared for a separation, why is this important to you?

[00:07:22] It's important to me. I guess it came to me as a niche because I personally went through it. So I separated when my children were very young and you know, went through the whole financial separation and talking about the assets and how we're gonna divvy them up and what the next steps are gonna be, and successfully did that in a very amicable way.

[00:07:43] But what I soon realized. And unfortunately through COVID is, is when I realized it is that the, so many people were separating and so many women were so lost with deer in headlights. Just, you know, they'd come to me and they'd say, we're getting divorced. And I just, I dunno where to start, you know? And I realized this was a trend and lots of people were coming to me with the same question.

[00:08:05] And there was a lot of emotion, a lot of charge, a lot of very uninformed hopes and dreams. And in terms of what it's gonna look like after that separation. And I felt like, you know what, I've, I've got a duty here. I know how this flies and I know finance so well and I can, I can really help, you know, from an empathetic point of view, but also from a very firm that's not gonna happen point of view, which I know sounds.

[00:08:31] But I feel like it's important before so much money is spent on lawyers and negotiations and the energy spent just to know the

[00:08:41] facts.

[00:08:42] I wanna keep the house, but. Can I keep the house?

[00:08:45] Yeah, absolutely. And I guess, what are some of those common, like big financial mistakes you are seeing people make during separation?

[00:08:52] Yeah. One of the biggest ones is people will think that the liability that they have against the mortgage, so it's against the property. So the mortgage,

[00:09:00] yeah.

[00:09:01] Is all they need to be able to take on to be able to keep the home.

[00:09:06] Yeah.

[00:09:07] And it's not that, unfortunately, what it is is, and let's just to keep things simple, say they're gonna slip 50 50.

[00:09:13] Yeah.

[00:09:14] If the house is worth 5 million and you've got a $200,000 debt, you need to raise two and a half million plus that.

[00:09:23] Mm.

[00:09:23] I say $200,000 debt. So you need to raise 2.7 to buy out your partner if it's 50 50. And a lot of people don't realize that that asset, that house. The equity that's available in that house is something that either party is, has a write over, and that's where it usually falls down and, and it's usually.

[00:09:44] Heart wrenching because there might be somebody whose parents have gifted them a home.

[00:09:48] Yeah.

[00:09:48] You know, and that's become the marital home and now the partner can take half of, of that home and, you know, you're forced to move out regardless of how that that came to you. Um, that's definitely one of the, the biggest.

[00:10:01] Ones. The other one is, oh, I'll speak to my lawyer first and then I'll come and get you for my finance.

[00:10:06] Yeah.

[00:10:07] And I think that I can work at the same time as, as, as somebody's working with their lawyer. But I do feel it's probably the best first step. Yeah. Because that conversation where I can just say, look.

[00:10:19] The $5 million home. It's not gonna happen. We, we can't keep that. And I know it sucks, and I know you don't wanna hear this, but I just wanna save you a whole bunch of heartache.

[00:10:27] Yeah.

[00:10:28] You know, negotiations and energy. But guess what? Here's the numbers. Mm-hmm. And what you can afford is a $1 million. Two bedroom apartment.

[00:10:36] Yeah.

[00:10:36] And that is gonna be your new home for you and your children. Yeah. And you are gonna live in there. You're gonna own it and you're gonna start a new chapter without of the ugly stuff before. So we've just gotta let go of that property, not emotionally attached to that property, which a lot of people do.

[00:10:52] And I get it.

[00:10:53] Yeah.

[00:10:54] And dream about what this next chapter could look like.

[00:10:58] So you are a mortgage broker, so you help Yeah. People find the right loan for their needs. Yeah. I always think of you guys as like stylists. Instead of finding the right outfit, you find the right loan. Everyone's different. Um,

[00:11:11] yeah.

[00:11:12] So how, I guess as a mortgage broker, like the amount of women you're seeing who are going through separation?

[00:11:19] Yeah.

[00:11:20] Is there a bit of like a standard of how many stay in the home versus how many end up just going up? I just can't afford the home on my income.

[00:11:28] Yeah. The majority end up selling the home.

[00:11:32] Yeah.

[00:11:33] That's definitely what, what I see from my experience. And sometimes that's even a decision that's not even, uh, you know, purely based on numbers. Yeah. Sometimes it's just, you know what, there's just too much. Bad memories in there and you know,

[00:11:45] yeah.

[00:11:46] There are women obviously out there who out earn their, their partners and have the ability to keep the home.

[00:11:52] Yeah. But sometimes it's not the best decision because you've now got a big home and a lawn and gutters and driveways to clean and, you know. All that stuff to upkeep the house as well as the mortgage, as well as trying to be a present mother, potentially. Yeah. And it's not worth not work your job. It's It's not.

[00:12:12] It's not. And if you can go into a, you know, a unit or a smaller house that's manageable and you don't have to, you know, pay for or do all of those jobs, it starts to become a bit more reasonable.

[00:12:22] And I guess it must be such a big emotional mind shift to go, this is where I saw our forever home. This was where I had already made so many stories and memories in my head.

[00:12:33] Yeah. And how it's all changing.

[00:12:36] Yeah. And that's one of the, the part where my heart breaks for. When we have that first confidential chat and I just hold space for everybody to get it out, talk about all the things, have all the emotions, and I know that that's the direction the chat's gonna be. And so as I mentioned before, I come in with empathy.

[00:12:54] I've been through it myself.

[00:12:55] Yeah.

[00:12:56] Um,

[00:12:56] definitely. And, and I think when you are. Going through a separation. You need a good team around you. You need a good model. Absolutely. You need a good, if you can, if you're in that FI financial position. A good financial advisor. Definitely a fantastic family lawyer. We work with so many amazing female family lawyers and they such good work.

[00:13:18] They're amazing.

[00:13:19] They are amazing. I

[00:13:20] love them. Yeah. I've got some amazing women that are, you know. I work with that will, you know, refer into and, and yeah. I'll also get them to help my clients who may be lost and, and need that support. Yeah. And even mediators that are amazing. And I think that's one of the benefits of landing with, you know, a mortgage broker because we're so well connected, you know, and, and we can help in a, in a time when you're lost connect you.

[00:13:43] With the right people. You know at the moment I'm having conversations with a forensic accountant.

[00:13:49] Yeah.

[00:13:49] And she's amazing. And her job is to go and. Help people figure out, help women figure out what their name is on, what have they signed, what trusts are out there. Yeah. What things do I look for in addition to that, you know, they just, they need a conveyance, so like you said, a family lawyer, there's a whole plethora of people they're gonna need to, to navigate it, which we can help with.

[00:14:11] Yeah. And just outta interest, what is the main reason you are finding, again, high level, it's not gonna be every single case, but what are those main reasons that. You find women are separating and are you finding that it is around, like what I guess the a BS tells us is it's around, you know, that 40 to 50 mark?

[00:14:30] Yeah, it's absolutely in that 40 to 50 mark. I can definitely say that. That's when, when I'm seeing it, a lot of it is women have had enough of, um, carrying multiple loads, so they're now working full-time. Raising children and trying to get to all the events. And we all know that that image of the woman with the, you know, thought bubble above her head while she's going to bed at night and the, you know, it's just that mental road.

[00:14:57] Mental

[00:14:57] road.

[00:14:58] Yeah.

[00:14:58] And they're just done with all that. Plus having to perhaps carry a partner who they no longer connect with or don't feel like seize them anymore and it just dissolves, you know, as a result of that. And not all of them are ugly. I've had quite a few clients who I feel like I've raised them like my babies, you know, I've helped them get their first property and their next, you know, investment property, something, their SMSF, and then they, they'll present to me in a meeting together and just say, at least we're separating, we we're kind of ending this.

[00:15:28] And then I can amicably help both of them. We'll have that top level chat in that meeting. Separate their information and my CRM in the background, and then I can help both of them. And that's a perfect situation, you know, where they're both amicable, they don't need to involve, you know, courts and all the rest of it and we can just divvy up the, the assets and refinance and

[00:15:48] yeah.

[00:15:48] Yeah. Sort out a mess.

[00:15:50] Yeah. And are you finding in your conversations women aren't claiming as much as they should be claiming in these.

[00:15:58] Definitely, yeah. It still surprises me, you know, 'cause some of these women that sit in front of me, I'm, I'm in awe of them, you know, their career and on what they've done.

[00:16:06] And I'm so excited to speak with them and, and then, you know, I'll mention something like, well what about super? How much super has he got in? And I, I don't want touchy super. I, I don't care.

[00:16:15] Yeah,

[00:16:16] no, you, you've worked for. You've stopped working, sorry, for 20 years, and that's a super opportunity that you missed out to help raise the children so he can advance his career.

[00:16:25] So there, there is a reason to actually want that. And yeah, a lot of them, yeah. It just surprises me. Right. I think the thing that surprises me the most is the elation that I see on their face when I tell them they actually have the capacity to either A, buy their partner out. Yeah. Or b. Buy their own home.

[00:16:41] You know, most of them just don't think it can be done. And I, I love delivering that news, you know? Um, even if it's not the, you know, $5 million house or whatever. Yeah. But if it's, you know, something that they can buy. Yeah. I, I love that.

[00:16:55] So, as we were saying before, look, if you are someone listening and or you are thinking of separating or maybe your friend's thinking of separating.

[00:17:04] Mm,

[00:17:04] we tell our girlfriends everything, don't we? So if this information might be not useful for you, but it might be useful for them. So Lisa, you are saying actually have a confidential chat with a mortgage broker first and find out financially would you be able to afford the house you are in before you speak to maybe like a family lawyer.

[00:17:27] Again, you can have generally a free chat with a family lawyer and I really recommend. You do that as well?

[00:17:34] Yeah.

[00:17:34] Before anything's potentially maybe like mentioned to your partner because people get funny about money and even I've heard multiple stories and I'm sure you have as well, Lisa, where it said no, it will all be done very amicably and then

[00:17:48] it

[00:17:48] gets nasty.

[00:17:49] Getting lost and money starts getting moved and it starts getting messy. Do you have any, I guess, kind of case studies you can share of that?

[00:17:57] Yeah, I mean, I've got one, um, that I'm working on at the moment, and she actually works in law. Yeah. And, you know, has built a business and she's a gun. She's done so well to build, you know, what she's built.

[00:18:08] And even at one stage she had brought her partner into the business to assist it all. Went bad. And you know, they started talking about numbers and separating, but her ex-partner now is really stalling because her business is going so well. Mm. That he wants to get a new valuation and then he wants to wait another 12 months to get another valuation.

[00:18:31] You know? And then the house is going up in value. So then he wants to wait for that so he can get a piece of that pie. And it's, it's horrible, you know, she just wants to separate. Love their children.

[00:18:41] Yeah.

[00:18:41] You know, figure out a way where they can, you know, both. Care for their children in a way that's meaningful to them, but

[00:18:47] And move on with

[00:18:48] their

[00:18:48] lives.

[00:18:49] Yeah.

[00:18:49] Yeah. But it's just so ugly for, for the wrong reasons, you know?

[00:18:53] And are you finding many of these women have binding financial agreements or like what we

[00:18:57] call

[00:18:58] in America prenups? No.

[00:19:00] Yeah, no. And it's something I talk about all the time now with my younger. Couples I'll meet. Let's just say as an example, 'cause I've got a client in, in my head at the moment, a guy who has got a couple of investment properties.

[00:19:14] He's got a new partner and he's just feeling a bit uneasy. They're gonna buy the next property, but we're doing an equity release from one of his properties to help buy this property. And he's feeling a little like he's carrying a bit more of the load.

[00:19:27] Yeah.

[00:19:27] And I can see the anxiety in making the decision and that's one of those moments where I suggested, have you thought about.

[00:19:33] A binding financial agreement, you know? Yeah. And for the listeners who, who, dunno what that is, that's, like you said, it's like a American prenup, but you can get them done as a defacto relationship. You can get it done as, as someone who's married. It doesn't have to be done, you know, before or after. Yeah.

[00:19:48] There's lots of different types you can get and it just protects either party, especially when there's no kids involved. It's very solid when there aren't with, with, you know, things that you've worked really, really hard for. And I'm now talking about that more and more. Yeah. I think we should be okay with this.

[00:20:01] We're in a society now where men are. And women are working, you know, it's, yeah.

[00:20:05] And we're coming to the table with more than we ever have had before. Absolutely. And we wanna protect that as well. And I know, like away, and I've said this on another episode we did with um, some family lawyers from Lander and Rogers, but I said, you know, at the end of the day, if you don't decide, someone else will, and it will probably be.

[00:20:23] It could be lawyers, it could be the government, it could be the court system. So you may as well go, Hey, let's, let's decide for ourselves what happens here. And I think if you go, okay, well what's mine is mine. And then what we build together is ours together. If someone's got an issue with that. That could be a red flag or, but again, things will obviously default when women are having children and then all of a sudden that has a huge effect on their earning capacity and if they're, um, staying at home and those factors as well.

[00:20:55] It's interesting that you say that point, because I'm learning a lot retrospectively from going through a separation myself, and then all the things you do after the separation. That you put in place. And one of the things that's really stood out to me that I'm a big advocate for is a parenting plan.

[00:21:11] Yeah.

[00:21:12] And Relationships Australia offer a free kind of template on their website, and I think everyone should do it, not after. So what is a

[00:21:20] parenting plan?

[00:21:21] Yeah. So it's, it's basically a, an agreement as to how you're going to raise your children. And it covers all the things. So it covers financial, it covers, you know, exposure to toxic chemicals, nutrition, schooling.

[00:21:35] Like you can go as as deep as you like. And I've gone very deep with, with mine, but I just, I feel like we're in the era now where everything's on the table.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:45] You know, let's develop parenting plans before we have a kid, or, you know, after we've had a kid and, and to help us navigate. And that parenting plan changes in separation.

[00:21:54] I love that. That's great. I'm actually this complete side note, but I'm actually looking at doing a parenting course at the moment because Love, I was like, it's so funny. We have like puppy school when you get a puppy. Yeah, that's

[00:22:06] true.

[00:22:06] Any parenting school, and this is like, obviously she's only 10 weeks old, but I'm like, I wanna be on like the four.

[00:22:13] Foot. So when totally, you know, those first behavioral things start happening, I actually have some tools Absolutely. As opposed to relying on Instagram, which, hey, some of the stuff's good, but like, yeah, I've got nothing else. Like, I don't know, like I only have true and my own parents as role models, but I think they did a pretty good job.

[00:22:29] But like I, the times have changed. Social media didn't exist back then. Like all those different things.

[00:22:33] Yeah. Yeah, I, I agree wholeheartedly. I think the more we can do to equip ourselves, you know, and have that chest of tools, uh, the better we're gonna be able to navigate. And that's, you know, the parenting plan, that's the BFAs.

[00:22:46] It's just those big conversations before shit gets real.

[00:22:49] Yeah, so I guess we've got like recent interest rate rises and obviously that does affect our own capacity. How would that look in a, like a separation scenarios? Do you guys just model the numbers?

[00:23:02] Yeah, so what I tend to do with my clients when we are looking at these situations is I'll do a Zoom session and I'll share my screen and I'll take them through everything.

[00:23:11] So rather than talk. At them. We'll develop those numbers together. So the first thing I'll do is I'll show them, you know, a funding calculation of what their property's worth. If we take away the cost to sell, if selling is what we are doing, then the impact of that, I don't know, 2% on, on what's left. We.

[00:23:27] Take away the mortgage. This is, you know, your remaining equity.

[00:23:31] Yeah.

[00:23:31] And then I'll take them through to a, a product comparison. And it's usually one I've already prepared and thought about and I've picked the lenders based on their unique circumstances. And then I'll talk them through the different rates that are there, the different options.

[00:23:44] Uh, quite often when there is a separation and they are downsizing, they're going to have a fair bit of cash left over and they want it. There for their own safety net. So an offset facility is gonna be important, and some might be paying a mortgage on their own for the very, very first time. Right? So fixing the rate may be a really good idea because that provides them with stability.

[00:24:06] They know the known amount of what they're paying every month for the next year or two, depending what fixed period they do. And, um, that just gives them a, a sense of certainty and, and comfort. Very volatile market at the moment because as you, you know, and as I'm sure a lot of the listeners know, as those interest rates go up, your borrowing capacity goes down and it makes it harder.

[00:24:25] Some people can't even refinance because what they used to be able to get, they can't get any more. Yeah. Now, if you have a really. A good broker, they'll know that there's waves around that. Now there are what's called streamlined or fast refinances, and that's where we can refinance dollar for dollar as long as we land you in a better position without borrowing capacity coming into it.

[00:24:47] So that is a, um, an attractive option when we need it.

[00:24:50] Okay. Awesome.

[00:24:52] Mm-hmm.

[00:24:52] And I guess as well, like if someone's thinking about separating. Like how early should they start planning their finances? 'cause I have a few, you know, I've spoken to a few people within our community and they're definitely thinking about separating and they're trying to get their finances sorted now.

[00:25:12] But I guess is it ever too early to start?

[00:25:16] I think as soon as those feelings are coming in and as soon as you've started to resolve in your head that. This just isn't working. Yeah. There's gonna need to be a next chapter. That's when you start exploring and, and like you touched on before, I think it's very important to not tell your partner that you're going down that road.

[00:25:33] Yeah.

[00:25:34] Just so. You can explore all of those things slowly and at your own pace and without anything getting hidden in the process. So I think the earlier the better for sure.

[00:25:44] And having been through the process yourself and everything that's going on in your world, is there anything that you wish you had done differently or you wish that more women knew before they start this journey?

[00:25:56] Yeah. For me it was, it was pretty clean.

[00:26:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:26:00] In my instance, most of the assets were with me and my partner was very amicable and was willing to let me keep what I had earned in the absence of A BFA, which I guess I was very lucky. You know, in hindsight, I think. One of the most important things I can say is even in a solid relationship, always know what's happening.

[00:26:21] Always know if you're signing something, don't just sign it 'cause you've been asked to sign it, read it, say, I just wanna take my time with this and just read through it so I understand, you know, just, it makes me feel better. And. Knowing what you're signing, knowing what accounts your names on keeping your own separate record of your passwords and logins and all that sort of stuff.

[00:26:40] Yeah. Is, um, really, really important. I think that's the one thing that I see a lot of

[00:26:44] women. Yeah.

[00:26:45] Yeah. Oh, no. He just does everything. I, I, yeah.

[00:26:49] And we actually had a woman recently reach out to us and say, Hey, we've done up our state plan. I don't understand it. Is there anyone in your community who can explain it to us?

[00:26:59] And I was like. Absolutely there is. Yeah. So I looked her up with a different, obviously, estate planner. Yeah. And they could really explain what they're signing and what that means and questions they should go back to their partner with, because a lot of this stuff is jargon. We're not in this world. Yeah.

[00:27:15] We don't work in this world. It's like another language. Yeah. It's okay to ask. For advice and get

[00:27:21] absolutely

[00:27:22] help as well.

[00:27:22] And I, I think that that Will's piece is an important one. Yeah. You know, certainly with me and my diagnosis of breast cancer, the first thing I did was go, you know, to my, my family lawyer and just say, girls, I think we just need to rejig a few things.

[00:27:35] Yeah.

[00:27:36] And I wanted to set up a T tree trust for my children. I don't understand. Any of that terminology, it's way beyond me. And you know, she'll sit there and draw me the tree of all my, you know, entities and I'm like, thank gosh I've got a professional doing this for me. Because it certainly is not something you can man, even if you know all the things you wanna do, you're very, very sure of where everything's gonna go.

[00:27:57] There's so many things that you, you learn throughout that process. Yeah. That's another important thing to have. No,

[00:28:03] that's, yeah. And I also like to put it out there as well. Obviously things we're talking about advice, there's a cost involved, but there's also free services involved. There's Relationships Australia, there's a national debt helpline.

[00:28:15] There are free resources where they can support you through this journey as well.

[00:28:20] Yeah. Yeah. You know, another thing I've just thought of that I see quite often, and this is a, something for people to be aware of, is men putting liabilities in the woman's name.

[00:28:31] Yeah.

[00:28:32] You know, so they, they get credit cards in her name and in her name and within it comes

[00:28:38] very often.

[00:28:38] Oh yeah.

[00:28:39] It's not just a

[00:28:40] big one.

[00:28:41] I know. And just as a reminder for people, if your name's on it. You aren't that loan.

[00:28:45] That's

[00:28:45] right. Right. And even if it's two of you on the loan, if they don't, if they disappear, you still are liable for that whole loan. Yeah,

[00:28:51] that's right. And even in the mortgage, you know, this happens during the separation chapter is one partner might be.

[00:28:59] Not overly, uh, amicable, let's just say, and starts to stop paying their portion of the mortgage. You know, there's a big impact of that, that the banks wanna be compassionate, but at the end of the day, you've signed a contract with them and you need to make that mortgage repayment every single month. So then, you know, you find yourself entering financial hardship.

[00:29:21] Yeah.

[00:29:21] And then that sounds like, okay, cool, that's an easy way out, but eventually you have to pay that money back.

[00:29:26] Yeah.

[00:29:26] You know? And that. That accumulates. And then also lenders will then say, well, you went on financial hardship. I'm not sure that you are someone I wanna back, so I'm gonna wait six months of you being on clear repayments before I'm going to lend you money again.

[00:29:42] So you could be stuck in terms of what you can do,

[00:29:45] which again is why it's so important. Ladies, you have your own emergency fund in your own name, which only you can access because of things like this. Yes. Eventually once the separation is finalized, you might get that money back. You can top up your emergency fund again, but it's for these moments when life throws you an absolute curve ball.

[00:30:05] All right. And just to finish it up, Lisa, it's been such an informative conversation and I just think, you know, your real life exam will just bring so much helpful, like practical, um, advice as well. Yeah. I guess, what's the number one piece of advice for someone considering separation?

[00:30:22] Yeah, I, I think. Know your numbers, know what your name is on.

[00:30:27] Definitely speak with a mortgage broker in confidence to find out what your borrowing capacity is so that you know when you go in to negotiate that what you want is actually achievable.

[00:30:39] Yeah.

[00:30:39] And I think knowledge is power in this situation. Yeah. If you know exactly what you can do, then you can go in with so much more confidence mm-hmm.

[00:30:46] And negotiate for what you know you really want and, and realistically can have.

[00:30:51] Fantastic. Alright, well, Lisa is one of our fabulous ladies Finance Club ambassadors, and if you'd like to connect with the fabulous Lisa, we'll pop links into the show notes where you can connect with her. But Lisa, for anyone else who's just listening and they're like, I need to chat to Lisa asap, where can they get find you?

[00:31:09] Yeah, sure. So Lisa Bridget is my name. If you put that in Google, you'll find me pretty easily. Otherwise, stellar Finance Group is my business that I founded and, and I'm the principal director for, and you'll find links on my website to book in. We'll probably drop that link, Chris, with this podcast Anyway, but the easiest way to get me is just to book in at a time, you know, that works for you and, and we'll take it from there.

[00:31:29] Awesome. Thank you so much for jumping on the podcast. That's my pleasure.

[00:31:33] Thank you for having me.

KEYWORDS
Breast Cancer, Early Detection, Financial Planning, Separation, Legal Considerations, Emotional Resilience ,Prenups, Parenting Plans separation finances, divorce financial planning, mortgage broker advice, women and money, family home after separation, superannuation divorce Australia, financial mistakes in separation, parenting plan separation, binding financial agreement prenup, Ladies Finance Club podcast, Lisa Stellar Finance Group, breast cancer journey and business, women’s financial empowerment, divorce property settlement explained, financial independence after separation